Isn’t it enough that as a nation we owe tens of billions, without having the airwaves clogged with talk of the property bubble bursting, negative equity, repossessions, mortgage debt, debt security, debt write-offs, government bonds, toxic debt, the credit crunch, and those by now legendary household names of Seán Fitzpatrick, David Drumm, the Quinn Group, Anglo Irish Bank and NAMA? And when did `coupons’ change from being something you cut out of a magazine in order to obtain discounts, to being a hugely important interest payment on a bond?
The way I see it is the banks went broke, and we the tax-payers are to bail out the banks even though we are not in any way to blame. Or am I missing something? Then just when I thought I’d got it all clear in my head, enter the bond-holders, whoever and whatever they are. Why are they not all listed and named so we know who we are talking about? Now the government have decided to protect these anonymous bond-holders, while forgetting about us. Again. We invested blindly in our banks, but so did the bond-holders. And so why, oh why are we the losers – again? It seems like now there are two sides. On one side are the failed banks, these mysterious bond-holders and numerous oily government ministers, and on the other side is us – the tax-paying God-fearing gullible people of Ireland, once again on our backs with our paws in the air.
NAMA is to operate as a `bad bank’ in all of this. A `bad bank’? Wasn’t Anglo a bad enough bank? Haven’t we had enough of bad banks? And last year Michael Noonan made the decision to change the name of Anglo Irish Bank to the “Irish Bank Resolution Corporation Ltd.” – fabulous. Change the name of the botched bank and everything will be hunky-dory again. Jordan changed her name to Katie Price, but she’s still the same ol’ Jordan of the silicone-enhanced bumper-babylons, puffy lips, daily botox injections, hunger for fame, and more baggage than the Aer Rianta left-luggage department.
I remember the days when you walked into a bank to be personally greeted by the Bank Manager. Recently I tried to lodge a Canadian cheque into my account and was told “Sorry we don’t take foreign cheques”. And they didn’t take foreign cheques. Am I missing something, but when did banks stop lodging cheques? When did banks stop performing the functions they used to perform?
If we are to remain in extreme debt for the forthcoming decade, or two decades as has been recently predicted, are we in danger of being rebranded as a country? Will the nation of a hundred thousand welcomes, become the island that owes a hundred billion? Will the land of saints and scholars, become the land of bankers and…never mind. In ten years how will Ireland be viewed across the world?
Will anyone be talking by then about our rich history, mythology and folklore, our tradition of lyricism, our literary giants of Yeats, Shaw, Wilde, Stoker, Joyce, Heaney and Binchy, our celebrated gift for story-telling, our trademark wit, our wealth of musical geniuses from O’Carolan and the Chieftains to Riverdance and Westlife, our many international successes in theatre and film, our lush green fields and heathery hilltops littered with pagan and Christian remnants from our varied past?
Through emigration we’ve created US Presidents such as Reagan from Ballyporeen, JFK from Dunganstown and Obama from Moneygall. Our soda bread, Kerrygold, lamb stews, Guinness, Bushmills, Baileys, Tayto crisps, Barrys Tea and Butlers Chocolates have all achieved worldwide notoriety.
We train some of the most skilled workforces, we educate to the highest level, we’re leaders in the computer industry, we breed winning horses, create exquisite crystal and fashionable knitwear, and pharmaceuticals including a magic blue pill to boost men’s sex lives.
And yet for the moment, according to the daily news and chat shows, we are for now reduced to toxic debts, bursting bubbles, bad banks, and a Tiger receiving his last rights. Will the HSE fund mass-group-therapy for us all when we are plunged as a nation into deep depression?
Let’s endeavour to focus on the many positive aspects of our little land, or we are surely at the risk of being re-labelled for a long time to come. Enough already with bond-holders and their boring bed-fellows.
